Thursday, 25 June 2015

Canto VI - The Slough of Stupidity...

There it is: you’re having a great time. You’ve set up your shop to face another working day; you’ve had your first coffee of the morning; the sun is shining; birds are singing; you’re ready to greet your first customer with grace and equanimity. And here they come:

They smile and approach the shop-counter; they look around themselves in seeming wonder; and then they breathlessly say:

“Wow! Have you read all of these books?”

Boom! Thunder rolls; birds splat on the pavement having been struck by lightning; the sun disappears like someone turned off the switch; the coffee grumbles in the pit of your stomach. You twitch your upper lip into a sneer:

“Why, yes,” you say, “yes - I have. There’s not much work involved in selling books so I have to fill up all that time somehow.”

“Gosh,” they exclaim, looking around wide-eyed, and, if they’re really stupid, they go on to say, “it must be so much fun to work in a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...”

(See: Canto I – The Waystation of the Ignorant.)

If you’re feeling particularly blunt-instrument-y, you might answer with the much more direct:

“What do you think?”

In this case, they back away, still smiling, just a little more fixedly, like a bunny in the headlights, feeling that something is expected of them and that they’re not going to like it, no matter how it turns out. And it turns out badly.

Boom!


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