Saturday, 20 June 2015

Canto V - The Sharp Defile of the Defilers...


Sometimes books get so worn and damaged that they no longer serve any purpose. They can’t be re-sold; they can no longer be read. Sometimes they just lose their pertinence, like an old encyclopaedia – time and research stand still for no-one. I see books like this all the time and, there’s no way that I can buy them for re-sale at the store – they’ve been read into the ground.

What to do with them? Tragic as I find it, sometimes books need to go to the recycling facility and be returned to the great cycle of literary proliferation. It’s sad, but it’s better than burning or burying them. My job, as I see it, is to keep books in circulation for as long as possible, to stave off the inevitable.

Unfortunately, there is a sector of the community out there, who would rather gather together old books and do unspeakable, God-awful things to them. This involves (but is certainly not limited to) folding them into lanterns; lacquering them into stacks to use as occasional tables and doorstops; and tearing off covers and spines to convert into notebooks and bookmarks (imagine if someone tore off a person’s arm and then shoved it down your jumper to remind you where you were going; it’s that sort of hideous).

Some people only buy books based on what they look like. The books are not to be read; they are not to be opened at all. They are colour co-ordinated to match furnishings in overly-decorated interiors. It makes you wonder why these people install bookshelves at all. I once met someone who stacked their bookshelves with books spine inwards so that the appearance of all the books’ fore-edges could create an “interesting effect”. This would not seem to be such a bad thing – after all, the books are not being destroyed – but they only remain undamaged until the interior decorator decides to alter the appearance of their decor. Then all the books go to the tip. There’s a movement locally amongst Real Estate agents (who eat their own young, incidentally) to encourage their tenants to not bring books to their rental premises at all, much less decorate with them, as they create an “eyesore”. WTF?

Worst of all, are those people who buy books to cut up for the purpose of scrapbooking or découpage. This is where you slice all of the pretty pictures out of perfectly good books and either paste them into another book, or lacquer them onto boxes, or items of furniture, to create objects of kitsch. I have had plenty of discussions with such people – who will make a beeline to your art section with murder on their minds – and I stringently derail all their efforts, by denying them access to anything that will suit their present bloody project. I endeavour not to tell them to drag their miserable carcases out of my shop and never darken my door again, because that way lies an absence of customers from the wider community, but I’ve come close. Pretty damned close actually.

It wouldn’t be so bad if they just bought books and left without telling what sacrilege was fermenting in their feckless little brains; but no, they take great delight in explaining what it is they’re about to do with this rare, limited edition printing of the world’s best examples of Japanese painted screens; or a deluxe Taschen edition of 60’s Pop Art; or an exquisite unblemished copy of Pixie O’Harris’s Sea Greenie and Pearl Pinkie. It’s like they think they’re doing something wonderful and fully expect you to be pleased for them.

I tell you, burning ain’t good enough.

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