Monday, 15 June 2015

Canto III - The River Styx...


Books have been around in one form or another for millennia. The structure of the book is perfectly evolved to handle a serious amount of abuse, from dirt, to rough handling, to fire and even moisture. Of course, books are not impervious to these types of damage, but they are resistant. One thing they are not designed to deal with though is stickiness.

In the course of preparing books for sale, I encounter all kinds of stickiness. Prime among these are old price tags from former dealers. These run the gamut from fairly inoffensive removable tags to the kind that absolutely destroy the book as you peel them off. The worst kind are the electronic security tags that some shops use and which they think will save their stock from being stolen, when, in fact, they are countered by the simple expedient of holding a largish coin over them as you pass through the security gate at the exit. You heard it here, folks! Perhaps the irremovable nature of these gadgets is some kind of payback for being so mind-numbingly easy to outwit, who can say?

The other annoying price tags are the ones that are pre-cut so that they separate into many sections rather than peeling off in one go. I’m looking at you, Kinokuniya...

Having removed the sticker there’s often a tacky patch that is left behind which, is irritating to the touch and which will transfer gummy smears to the rest of the book. The best way to deal with this – and indeed most types of tags – is the simple application of eucalyptus oil using a tissue. Lightly soak the tissue, wipe the affected area, sponge up any excess, allow to dry. It works like a charm and, if you have a cold, there’s a bonus side-effect!

The worst thing about price tags is that they can lift the lacquer on a book’s cover, and this is becoming more evident with the modern types of paperbacks that are being produced these days. Lacquer is used to make a book cover extra shiny; or, if the required effect is a matte one, then the lacquer gives the wrapper a textured kind of rubbery effect. The problem is that, with so much lacquer, the sticker adheres to it rather than the cover, and when you peel the sticker off, a patch of lacquer comes with it. It looks bad and, since the lacquer helps make the book somewhat waterproof, your new book is now a sponge waiting to get to work. Eucalyptus oil might work with these situations, but be careful: those matte lacquers can react badly to the treatment and you can end up with a blotchy, tacky mess.

One place I worked at, we used a spray furniture polish to clean books, a product called “Mr Sheen” (nothing to do with Charlie or Martin). It works a treat, but a little goes a long way.

A note of warning: if you use these cleaning methods, use them only on paperbacks, on the dustwrappers of hardcover books, or on dustwrapper-less hardbacks with shiny covers. The boards of most hardback books are composed of non-waterproof substances and they will be effectively destroyed by these treatments.

Something which is occasionally encountered in books is tape. Some people mistakenly think that putting tape along the edges of the dustjacket will protect it from chipping or wearing and this is true – for a microsecond. Sticky tape is a type of adhesive celluloid and rapidly becomes yellowish and brittle if exposed to light, or high temperatures. The glue is highly acidic also and reacts badly with book paper. In short order the tape will flake off and the glue will have created horrible dark brown marks on your books’ pristine surfaces. Some people cunningly plastic-wrap their books and are careful to make sure that any tape they use doesn’t touch any part of the book, attaching only the plastic wrap to itself. It doesn’t matter: the acidic chemicals in the glue emit vapours that assault the paper and voila! Horrible dark brown marks. Repeat after me: tape and books don’t mix,


And forget about Scotch Tape, so-called “Magic Tape”, too. Not so magic. Not so much.


Other types of sticky tend to come in the form of substances that come into contact with the book while you’re enjoying the contents. These run to gamut from jam to red wine, and I’ve seen them all in my book-cleaning time. Just remember: a mildly damp cloth will take care of anything that you smear on the shiny outer covers of your novel or its dustwrapper. That lacquer is built to take it. If you spill something onto the pages, that’s a different story; but be quick and mop with something absorbent and you will probably minimise the devastation.

Speaking of which: if you wet a book with glossy plates on the inside, you run the risk of sticking those pages together. Break out the hairdryer and blow them dry on a light heat: they will probably buckle or ripple slightly, but, if any moisture remains, they will become glue-y and stinky, which is worse. If they stick together, any effort to separate them will tear the surface of each plate and render them useless.

What else? I once found a jam doughnut in a book that had been flattened and put back on the shelf for a week. A quick funeral was all that could be done. Some things – like an erotic text with the pages glued together - are just too obnoxious to attempt rectifying...

In the final analysis, it’s best to treat your book in the same way that you treat your computer: don’t let any sticky, damp, or wet things get close to it. In this way you avoid that sinking feeling that you get when you spot the champagne glugging out of the disc drive on your laptop. Been there, done that...

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